The Leadership Pause: Making space between stimulus and Response

​Finding Freedom in the Space Between
There’s a moment—brief, often unnoticed—that holds the power to change everything about how we lead.
It’s the space between what happens to us and what we choose to do next.

That space is what psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl called the key to human freedom.
In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, written after surviving the Nazi concentration camps, Frankl offered one of the most enduring insights in modern psychology:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Frankl discovered this truth not through comfort or theory, but through unimaginable hardship.
In a setting where nearly every external freedom had been taken, he realized one freedom could never be stripped away—the freedom to choose his response.

Even in suffering, he found agency in that small but powerful space.

Why the Pause Matters for Leadership
Most leaders won’t face the extremities Frankl endured, but the principle applies every day—in meetings, in conflict, in the moments that define trust and credibility.

The stimulus might be an unexpected comment, a difficult email, or a disappointing decision.
The response could be defensiveness, irritation, withdrawal—or something more deliberate.

The difference lies in whether we react automatically or pause long enough to choose intentionally.
That pause is the breath that makes leadership possible.

When we rush past it, our reactions lead.
When we honor it, our leadership does.

The Cost of Skipping the Pause
Every leader knows the sting of reacting too quickly: the tense meeting, the sharp reply, the tone we wish we could take back.
Those moments don’t just affect outcomes—they shape how people experience us.

Without the pause, we lead from instinct rather than intention.
We protect our egos instead of nurturing trust.
And over time, those quick reactions can create distance where connection is needed most.

The Practice of the Pause
The pause isn’t about suppressing emotion—it’s about creating space to see it clearly before it drives behavior.
It’s the difference between being inside the reaction and being aware of it.

Practicing the pause can be as simple as:

• Taking one conscious breath before you respond.
• Asking, “What’s being triggered in me right now?”
• Remembering what matters most before you speak.

With time, that small space begins to widen.
What once felt like an immediate reaction becomes a thoughtful moment of choice.

Leading From the Inside Out
The pause is where the inner game of leadership meets the outer one.

Our inner game—our mindset, emotions, and self-awareness—runs our outer game more than we realize. When our inner world is cluttered with reactivity, fear, or ego, it inevitably spills into how we communicate, decide, and lead.

But when we practice the pause, we’re refining our leadership from the inside out.
That inner moment of awareness changes the energy of the entire interaction.
It transforms tone, posture, and presence.

The pause gives us access to our best self—the grounded, intentional, clear version of who we want to be when it matters most.
And it’s that inner alignment that creates outer credibility.

Choosing Growth Over Reactivity
Frankl’s insight wasn’t about restraint—it was about possibility.
In that space between stimulus and response, he said, lies our growth and freedom.

For leaders, that space is where growth happens.
It’s where we move from reaction to reflection, from control to connection, from ego to authenticity.

That freedom—the ability to choose who we will be in the moment—is at the heart of courageous leadership.

A Final Reflection
In every challenge, every conversation, every difficult piece of feedback, there’s a pause waiting to be found.

The next time something triggers a quick reaction, take the pause.
Feel it. Notice it. Choose your response.

That’s where leadership truly begins—not in control, but in consciousness.

Kimberly Dudash, PCC
Executive Coach & Leadership Development Strategist
Founder and CEO, Dudash Executive Coaching
Refining Leadership from the Inside Out